How to Build Self-Confidence and Prepare Yourself for Success

How can you build your self-confidence and set yourself up to win right now?

Make the best of what you desire and deserve.

Recognizing Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

First, let's talk about self-confidence which a lot of people ask me when they hire me as their coach or whether I'm speaking at virtual events or live events or doing my group training all around the world.

While self-confidence is based more on the external measures of success and value, self-esteem focuses on its internal measures.

Self-esteem is one's overall sense of his own value or worth. It is your attitude towards yourself. 

Research findings report that one's self-esteem and psychological beliefs affect his goals and commitment towards them.

Psychology experts and researchers concluded that one can be confident in a certain area yet may lack an overall view of his or her own value.

One of the things people ask me about all the time is, “Noah, how'd you get so confident? How can I build my self-confidence?”

Here’s a little secret that I don't tell a lot of people.

I'm not a naturally confident person. I wasn't born with oozing self-esteem.

In fact, when I was growing up as a kid, I was painfully shy. I had coke bottle glasses. I had a face full of acne and I didn't have shoulder-length hair, but shoulder-width hair. I had a big Afro back in the '70s and '80s.

I had no self-confidence at all. I had often joked that I didn't have the fear of rejection, I had the certainty of rejection.

Maybe, you're like me and had low self-esteem or low self-confidence.

This is something that is definitely not natural for me. It's something I’ve had to work on for years and years. I didn't believe in myself and I didn't trust myself.

On Mental Health: Low Self-Esteem and Depression Tendencies

We all know that it takes a lot of effort and courage to believe in oneself.

News reports reveal an inflated growth of depression and suicide cases which created a global impact.

Most women show evidence of bulimic symptoms because of their insecurities, starving themselves to achieve unrealistic model proportions while some undergo surgery for enhancement.

They develop eating disorders later on. Students who struggle with their school performance were reported to have severe anxieties.

Those who were bullied and have experienced sexual abuse were prone to a sudden change of personality through their course of life and they suffer from depression.

Self-Confidence Success - On Mental Health: Low Self-Esteem and Depression Tendencies

Although interventions do help a lot in the process, we’ll be able to save and rescue more lives with simple preventive measures.

We can't blame it all on someone if he becomes delinquent and defensive with his actions after all the experiences and relationships he had in the past.

Nevertheless, what we can do is to take action against bullying, encourage healthy discussions and promote self-awareness.

Let me save you some time, effort, and maybe even some money because I know personally that not having that level of self-esteem certainly has cost me millions and millions of dollars over the years. 

Here are three proven tips to help you deal with self-esteem and press you towards victory:

#1 Decide that self-confidence and success is important to you

When an individual sets his priorities, he gives time, effort and really focuses on that matter.

Our society plays a big role in what we perceive as valuable for us.

There are differences in people's scale of priorities. Factors affect how they measure the level of importance.

People take each relationship of great value, may it be with family, friends, or significant other.

Students may focus more on their grades and scores because of academic endeavors.

Someone who is trying to get a promotion will dwell more on his job performance.

A public person may deal more with his physical attractiveness.

How do you set yourself to win?

When you set your priorities, you're setting yourself to things you want to achieve. 

Each achievement will contribute to a desirable outcome you want to gain in the future.

So if you set yourself at boosting your self-esteem, what could possibly go wrong?

It will all start within yourself and your decision to give yourself value. When you know and take self-confidence as a priority, everything else will follow.

Deciding to become confident does not equate to becoming perfect in all ways, but simply believing that you can do things despite all your fears and imperfection.

How will you excel in your school? How will you overcome your antisocial behavior and start making friends? How will you get good outcomes?

You just have to decide and know that it is really important to be confident. It is important to believe in yourself.

An indicator of self-confidence is being able to trust yourself. It is when you are able to trust your own instincts and realize that you can trust your own decisions, trust what you’re feeling inside.

Growing up, I didn't do that. I listened to everyone outside of me but I never really listened to myself and that was a big problem.

It got me into a lot of trouble and it really cost me a lot of money and opportunity over the years.

Now that we know what are the benefits we can get by simply being confident and how it can predict our life be in the future.

We have to understand the problem and situation were facing off, to risk ourselves at any cost, to study how we're going to succeed in our problem.

Remember that the first step to everything is to simply decide that it's very important.

#2 Develop self-confidence habits

If something is important to you, you'll take action to make things happen. Being in control gives you the power and freedom to navigate your life in the right direction.

A pattern of movement shows persistence in achieving a positive result.

This is something that I talk about in my books and online programs like Power Habits® - The New Science for Making Success Automatic.

So, what are some of the Power Habits®?

One of them is my teaching of Afformations®. If you go to afformations.com, you can learn more about my Afformations® method that's taking your internal negative beliefs and really flipping them into empowering or positive beliefs.

You can also get the book at powerhabitsbook.com  or you can just visit the website and watch a free training that I did on how you can develop the millionaire habits of the rich and famous.

On doing consistent and positive reinforcement

While what you do creates a great impact, consistent actions are of great importance, too.

Parents may experience stress in juggling time and helping their children with their studies. But when they start to introduce the habit of doing educational activities with their children at an early age, study time with them will be easier.

Adolescents wanted to be included in a circle and face challenges with social interactions.

An adolescent can start by understanding and listening to his own feelings and encourage himself to share his true self with a peer.

Self-Confidence Success - On doing consistent and positive reinforcement

You may really want to develop chosen habits every day like the following:

  • Doing journals is one of the most common habits you can try that can also track other habits you may want to develop.
  • This also applies to unhealthy habits you want to stop like smoking and drinking alcohol.
  •  If you've always wanted to become a leader, practice your leadership skills with your own plans and projects.
  • If you're health-conscious, managing your calorie intake and physical activities may help.
  • If you're aware that you lack some interpersonal skills, you can spend more time with peers who can help and support you.

 Remember to be firm with your objective so you can focus on a specific task.

It will be hard on the first few tries but you'll be surprised how you've grown. Execute with growth and happiness in mind, effects will come afterward. Try approving yourself while trusting the process you are in.

#3 Develop better body language

They say, "You are what you think." 

What's inside your mind influences how you act. You are perceived based on your behavior. It's a causal relationship, after all.

Now, think about a person who's not confident.

Think about what they would look like. What would they sound like? What would they move like?

You’d probably realize that they'd be sort of slumped over. Their shoulders would be slumping forward, they might not look people in the eye. They would look down a lot.

That was me, that was how I went through most of my life when I was growing up. It took me a long time to realize that I’ve got to put my shoulders back. I’ve got to look people in the eye. I’ve got to just say what I mean.

There’s an old saying, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”

It took me a long time to figure that one out. I'll tell you that and those little habits every day putting your shoulders back and taking a deep breath.

When somebody asks you a question, maybe you don't know the answer yet.

Take a deep breath, go and say, “That's a good question. I'm not sure. Let me find out let me get back to you on that one.”

You don't have to answer right away just because somebody is demanding it of you.

You have permission to check in with yourself and make sure it's something that you really want to do and want to move forward on.

Posing Confidence Virtually

Also, notice that a lot of our communication these days is done virtually. A lot of people are meeting instead of face to face or instead of going into your work environment perhaps your office, you're meeting on Zoom.

If you're meeting virtually, make sure that you're looking right into the camera whether it's on your phone or your laptop.

Make sure you're looking right into that camera. A mistake that people make oftentimes is they'll look over here you know looking at the person that they're talking to.

And it's sort of natural to do that right but actually, the truth is you want to look right at the camera.

What I do is I look at the person out of the corner of my eye. I'm looking at my own screen so I can see myself over here.

But I am looking right at you and that makes the person on the other end and the receiving end feel a lot more comfortable because you look a lot more confident when you go like this.

Even though you're looking at the person, you're actually not. They don't feel you're looking at them because they don't get that.

Anyway, just use these little tips and let me know what you think of these tips.

Perception & Perspective: How Do You Position Yourself?

Individuals dwell with self-esteem problems every now and then. We badly wanted to be recognized, accepted and appreciated.

We look for support, crave attention. As we go further in finding our place to be socially approved, we lose our ways. We allow individuals to abuse us.

We are now left with the consequences because we care so much about people's opinions than our own ability.

Some become socially awkward, some result in aggression.

How can we highly regard ourselves if we are looking at the wrong concept of self-esteem?

When you love yourself, you embrace your personality. You change your unruly behaviors. You care less about likes and ratings.

So, if you think of yourself worthy enough then you'll be able to understand that society has standards beyond compare. People are predicted to follow them. 

But, beauty is subjective, and not all things are supposed to look pretty. We are only subjected to look, feel, and act like humans.

Keep a journal. Review what you've done in the past years. Look at the relationships you've been with. We never know what's ahead of us, we don't hold an accurate answer.

Failure will be present and it measures how persevering and true we are to our goal.

Self-acknowledgment leads to learning self-respect. Allow yourself to feel lovable and capable.

After all, it is not what we can't do that brings us fear, what frightens us the most is how powerful we can be beyond measures. 

Let your light shine.

Well today, I'll teach you my three proven tips so you can have more confidence even if you're shy and introverted like me. 

Let's talk about confidence! This is one of the big things that people ask me all the time, especially my high-level coaching clients. When I'm doing live events, when I'm doing private workshops with my clients whether I'm doing group coaching or even one-on-one coaching, I notice that the subject of confidence comes up all the time. Why is becoming confident plays a big role in achieving your dreams?

Well, very simple because most of the time people who do not feel confident, don't believe in their own strengths. Most people think negative and doubt their ability because most of them have a lot of what I call head trash. That’s why I’ve written 15 books on this subject including my new book Get Rid of Your Headtrash About Money. You can get this book free at sendmeabooknoah.com.

What is confidence and why is it important?

Now, why is confidence important? It’s very simple.  The word confidence comes from the Latin word confidere which means ”with trust”. When you don't have confidence, you don't trust yourself. You avoid criticism and lack the right behavior to accept the challenge that comes with it. When you let these negative emotions fill your mind, other people are going to have a hard time trusting you as well. Because if you don't believe in yourself, if you don't trust yourself,  how can others trust you?

For most of my life, I didn't believe in myself. I had no self-esteem at all. My self-esteem was lower than zero. I had no self-confidence.  I was a nerd in school before it was cool to be a nerd. I remember I had coke bottle glasses about that thick, I didn't have shoulder-length hair and amazing personality that can attract women. I had an afro out here and I envy those men with the super-cool image. I was a scrawny geeky kid growing up in Kennedy Compound, Port, Maine. You can imagine how poor I was. My family was in a poor setting living in a rich neighborhood so I had everything stacked against me. As a result, I had no self-confidence, no positive outlook in life. I feel like a failure and all I can see are my weaknesses.  If you can relate to something like that, you probably didn't have it as bad as I did or weren't as shy and awkward as me. 

What is confidence and why is it important?

I didn't have any trust in myself, I didn't have any belief in myself and I didn't have anyone to support nor help me. That's one of the reasons why at the age of 25, I decided to commit suicide because I was so depressed, so frustrated, so lonely and so unhappy that I said, “Why am I here? I don't need to be here. Nobody's going to miss me if I'm not here.” Fortunately, at the very last moment, my life was spared.

But my point of the story is this: If you don't have confidere - trust in yourself,  then it's going to be hard for other people to trust you which means that as a result, you're not going to be making the money you want to make. You'll never have achievements or successes. You're not going to have the time freedom, not having the energy, probably won't have the relationships you want and you definitely won't have the financial freedom that you're looking for. These are some of the reasons why confidence is so important. Not being confident in your own skin may increase the negative feeling inside, disturbing questions that will not help you at all.

Let's talk about how to gain confidence even if you don't believe in yourself and even if you're shy and introverted like me.

Project Confidence Tip #1: Find Your Purpose

Now, the first thing you need to do is to find your purpose. You've got what I call in my Power Habits® book and in my Power Habits® training, “find your because”. You got to find your because now. What does that mean? It means you've got to understand your purpose here on Earth. I just shared my experience when I attempted to commit suicide at the age of 25 because I didn't know why I was here on Earth. Now even when I didn't take my own life, it still took me another five long years and five years of study and hard work. I was reading all the spiritual teachers of our time --- Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay, Ernest Holmes, Neale Donald Walsh and other people like them. I would just try to find my purpose and in 1997, I found my purpose. I want to share my ideas and hopefully influence others with my principles.

I had two epiphanies that changed my life and I discovered first of all Afformations® which you can go to afformations.com and learn more about the shower that changed everything and how to change your subconscious thought patterns so you can change your beliefs and change your life. It has been an incredible eureka moment for me and now it has not only help in developing strategies for better performance but also improve other's life.

Project Confidence Tip #1: Find Your Purpose

The second epiphany was when I discovered success anorexia which is why so many people starve themselves as success and that's what I teach you in my book Power Habits®. The point was when I discovered my “because”, I was 30 years old. It wasn't 30 that I knew why I was here on the Earth. That's 30 long years of not knowing why, so you don't have to go through that. How do you find your purpose? Well, I do talk about that in the Power Habits® book and empower habits account. There I share how to overcome this phenomenon, learning to take control and be assertive in every action I make.

One thing you can do right now is a very simple "ask easy exercise". You'll say, “What would I love to do if money was not an object? What would I love to do?” See everybody talks about out there, all the gurus say, “ Do what you love and the money will follow.” That is such a lie! That is one of the biggest and most costly mistakes out there in this industry, the industry of business and personal growth. It's totally not true.

I love going to bookstores. I love going to libraries. I love reading books. Are you going to pay me for reading a book? No, you're not! Nobody's going to pay me for going to bookstores. Nobody's going to pay me to lounge in the library but I enjoy it. That's what I love so why isn't the money following? It doesn't make sense!

Well, because they forgot to tell you the most important part of that equation which is to know what you love, find what you love, and take action. But then, you've got to show other people why and how they will benefit from you. Like I help health professionals, course creators, and coaches to start and scale their online business to 30k per month. In online business, I help them do that in 90 days or less. That’s a really, really big value if you'd like to do that. I know that you're interested and you'd like to start or scale your online business to 30k per month in 90 days. My task for you is this, you've got to know your purpose which I call on your "because". I do teach you how to do that in Power Habits® Academy and my friends’ Powerbook. It is a key to unleashing your abilities and taking you into the zone, where your purpose lies.

Project Confidence Tip #2: Build the Right Habits

Secondly, you've got to have the right habits. You've got to take the right actions. Power Habits®  is really, actually very simple. The Power Habit® System that I developed and have created over the last two decades of working with people like you has played competent roles to achieve your life goal. I've helped to add six, seven, and even eight figures to their business. There are 11 total Power Habits®. These are the Power Habits® of unconsciously successful people meaning highly successful people, what they do without even thinking about it.

Project Confidence Tip #2: Build the Right Habits

You've got to find the right habits so that you can fulfill your purpose right. One of the habits that I’ll teach you is Afformations®. It is changing your subconscious thought patterns so you can stop stopping yourself from the success you're capable of. All right there are 11 total Power Habits® out for me, the foundational habits, so you've got to have that foundation so when you're building your house, your dream house, your dream life, and your dream business, you've got to have that foundation. That’s why everything starts with Afformations® but it doesn't end there. You can find the difference between feeding yourself with positive reminders versus recognizing the skills you own through empowering questions. It is one of the easier tasks yet it gives you the knowledge and the urge to perform towards efficacy.

Project Confidence Tip #3: Relax and Breathe Properly

You’ve got to have the right half, you have your purpose, you gotta have the right habits and then the third step and tip you can do right now is you gotta breathe properly. Now, I know that sounds so simple. I think I knew I had to breathe and that’s great. Did you know that when you are stressed, tired, overwhelmed, when you're feeling fear and in that fight or flight, you actually stop breathing? You're not obviously stopping breathing completely but what happens is you breathe very shallowly. Have you ever been in that situation like maybe you're wanting to talk to that person or even make a phone call or maybe even go on a video? And ends up, it is actually happening. You're breathing very shallowly so you've got to actually learn how to calm your breath. One great way to do that is to just breathe in through your nose and then hold it for a few seconds then breathe out through your mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Doesn't it feel better? You can literally connect to your authentic self in seconds just by breathing properly. Now, it might sound silly, might sound simple. It is really simple yet it's not silly. It works like a charm. It works every time and you can actually notice that as you're in that situation or even thinking about going into that stressful or that overwhelming situation,  that fearful situation. If you're conscious of your body, you can start to feel your breath going and that's the worst thing you could do. The best thing you could do for yourself at the moment is to breathe properly right into the nose, hold out through the mouth and you can literally get centered all the way to your diaphragm right down here.

Project Confidence Tip #3: Relax and Breathe Properly

By the way, I want to show how you can make money from me right now? If you're struggling to find your purpose, you're not sure what it is exactly you're doing well. I will show you how to make money from me literally in the next 21 days, all you have to do is go to this website. First of all, I'll give you some links of what I was talking about earlier so powerhabitsbook.com. That's where you can get my Power Habits® book. You can also go to powerhabitsacademy.com and learn my Power Habits® academy online, and sendmeabooknoah.com wherein you can get my new book for free which is Get Rid of Your Head Trash About Money.

You can make money from my products. Just go to noahstjohn.com/jv. Join our affiliate program and earn commissions on every sale that you make so when you recommend or when you refer people to me, I pay you a commission. It's all super simple. I'll show you exactly how it works so just fill this in. It takes about 30 seconds there's no cost, it's you and so you just put in your email, password, put in your first, last name, and your PayPal email because I'm going to pay you through this. We have programs like Online Business Virtual Retreat, Power Habits® 21-Day Challenge, Afformation® System, and we've got a ton of great stuff. Here is what the Afformation® System looks like at afformations.com, view Online Business Retreat at onlinebusinessretreat.com, find out Power Habits® Challenge at powerhabitschallenge.com.We also have Funnel Income Secrets, Traffic Income Secrets, and basically, we've got you covered --- cradle to grade A to Z. We've got you covered at nine ways to Sunday. 

All you have to do is go to noahstjohn.com/jv, click these blue buttons and it is your custom link. If you want to put Afformation® System, you just copy this link here. You scroll down on that page, highlight just like a word doc, copy, and just post it on your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and  LinkedIn. You can even share it with your friends via email and all you have to do is make sure you put your affiliate link in there so we can track your sales and I can pay you your commissions. You can find your affiliate ID on each page of the programs. These are called evergreen programs, evergreen courses which means they're going on all the time. You can promote this 12 months out of the year, 52 weeks out here,  24/7, and I will pay you. Again, you can make money online right now without ever having to build anything. All you have to do is share these links and I’ve given you even the words to say. They're right here and it says Email and Social Media Swipe Copy. You just copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste! It's that easy, friends! How cool is that? It is free freaking awesome!

Again, when you have the right purpose, the right habits, and when you breathe properly, that's going to give you confidence in any situation even if you're shy and introverted like me. Smile and start your Project Confidence now!

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